Laughter as Prayer
Preached 8/4/2019 at SouthWest UU in N. Royalton OH
By Rev. Meg Mathieson
Laughter is an incredibly beautiful thing. Folks say that laughter is the best medicine, and science backs this up. Studies have shown that laughter increases social bonding, reduces stress, and gives a boost to your immune system. Laughter has been shown in study after study to measurably reduce our perception of pain. Recent research at the University of Maryland has shown that laughter has an anti-inflammatory effect that protects blood vessels and heart muscles from the damaging effects of cardiovascular disease.
Consider the story of Norman Cousins, a newspaper editor who in the 1970s, faced a debilitatingly painful disease which he eventually cured through laughter. In the 1979 book and the 1984 movie Anatomy of an Illness, Mr. Cousins discovers, in the midst of desperation around his chronic pain, a surprising cure: deep belly laughs. Mr. Cousins found, with the aid of the Marx Brothers and Candid Camera, that 10 minutes of laughter would bring hours of pain relief, helping him to get much-needed sleep.
Mr. Cousins is said to have quipped, “Hearty laughter is a good way to jog internally without having to go outdoors.” This is valuable advice if you live in a state where the out-of-doors is unfriendly some months out of the year! In lieu of exercising, just watch a Steve Martin or Diane Keaton movie!
Laughter heals not only the individual but also whole communities. When we laugh and share levity together, we bond. Consider the work of Dr. John Gottman, who famously studied and named 4 predictors of divorce, which he called the “4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse.” Dr. Gottman has been able to predict with astounding accuracy the success and failure rates of marriages. And what does Dr. Gottman prescribe for healthy relationships? He has said, “Our marriages are only as good as our histories of laughter together.” Dr. Gottman goes on to explain that couples who can diffuse tension with laughter are those that he labels “masters” of marriage.
But this extends beyond couples. Bringing humor into any tense situation is sure to diffuse the stress, even if the joke isn’t funny. One such example offered on Dr. Gottman’s website: What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?
Now imagine saying that randomly in the middle of an argument with a co-worker, a friend, or a family member. You might not get a big laugh, but I guarantee that the tension will break.
I recently read the most joyful little paperback, titled “Between Heaven and Mirth,” by Father James Martin, a Jesuit priest. Some of us cringe at memories of Catholic upbringings, but Father Martin’s work is warm, inviting, and I find that every time I come across the word “God” I just mentally replace that word with “The Source” or “Energy,” or "Love," suddenly Father Martin and I have a lot of beliefs in common.
In the introduction to his book, Father Martin recalls the story of a fellow priest who, in confession, confessed “excessive levity,” and was scolded by his superior that “all levity is excessive.” From there, Father Martin goes on to outline the history of humor in religion, including the history of erasing humor from religion.
He points to heroes of humor from Catholicism such as St Theresa of Avila who prayed, “From somber devotions and sour-faced saints, good Lord deliver us,” and St Lawrence who was burned to death over a bed of hot coals and as the story goes, jeered at his tormentors saying, “I’m done on this side, flip me over!”
Father Martin reaches outside of Catholicism, offering inter-denominational jokes, such as this one that he promises can be enjoyed by everyone: There is a story about people from different religious denominations who are traveling on a bus to an ecumenical conference for Christian Unity Week. While singing songs together, they become so distracted that they run off the road and hit a telephone pole, die, and go to heaven. The crowd meets St. Peter, who welcomes all of them. "Okay," he says. First the Episcopalians. Welcome to heaven. Since you've all lead good Christian lives and enriched us so much liturgically, go into Room Five, but on the way make sure not to look inside Room One. "The Episcopalians walk happily over to Room Five. Then he says to the Baptists, "Welcome Baptists. Thanks for all the great preaching and witnessing you've done during your lives. Why don't you take Room Two, but make sure not to peek into Room One. " Then he turns to another group and says, “Methodists, nice to see you! Thanks for leading such good Christians lives and for all those hymns. Why don't you all go into Room Three? But make sure not to go into Room One. " Finally, one of the Methodists says to St. Peter, "Can I ask you something? What's in Room One? " St. Peter says, "Oh, that's where the Catholics are. They think they're the only ones up here. "
And where are we in that scenario? What place do UUs have in the world of humor? When looking into UU humor, I was surprised to find out that Matt Groening, the creator of The Simpsons, is a Unitarian Universalist. While not my absolute favorite show, I’ve grown up with The Simpsons. It debuted when I was 11 years old and is still running. Still, I don’t think I’d seen this scene before.
Picture it: the kids are at an ice cream social that is being held at the local church. The minister offers them a choice: Oooh, look at all the choices! Blessed Virgin Berry, Command-mint, Bible Gum … or, if you prefer, we have a new Unitarian flavor. The minister hands the kids an empty bowl. When they complain that “there’s nothing there,” and the minister answers, “Eeeeeeexactly.”
Unitarian Universalists have a rich history of laughing at ourselves. We acknowledge the humor that is naturally present in all of life, and even our historical figures found levity in self-deprecation. Thomas Starr King, both a Unitarian and a Universalist minister back in a time before the two denominations had merged, explained each religion by stating that, “Universalists think God is too good to send them to hell. Unitarians think they are too good for God to send them to hell. “
And he was right! The legacy of Unitarian Universalism is of a branch of Christianity that over time slowly rejected hell, rejected the notion of a punitive God, and eventually rejected any need for salvation. This opened the door to letting go of a need for Jesus and led to an opportunity to explore and embrace a wealth of world religions. When folks accuse us of not believing in anything, we can be sure that we also embrace belief in everything. Everything that is good, positive, and sacred is invited to our party.
And that’s the thing: when you replace the word “God” with ever-widening descriptors such as “Mystery,” “Source” and “Energy” it becomes easy to see that the source of all, must also be the source of humor and levity. That when we engage in silliness and when we laugh, we are engaging directly and intimately with our mysterious source energy.
Speaking of energy… do you happen to know how many Unitarians it takes to change a lightbulb? We choose not to make a statement either in favor for or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey, you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is wonderful. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb. Present it next month at our annual Light Bulb Sunday Service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life, and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
We laugh at our own agnosticism and recognize the way that our open-mindedness can look like indecisiveness in a culture that is full of more fundamentalist, creedal denominations. Others might think we are going to hell, but this becomes a punchline for those of us who don’t believe in hell: A street corner evangelist rhetorically asked a passer-by, "Friend -- do you know what path leads to the denial of God and Christ straight into the arms of heathenism and atheism?" "Oh, sure," said the passer-by. "The Unitarian Universalist Church is just two blocks that way."
But of course, we know that it’s not all heathenism and atheism. In “Between Heaven and Mirth,” Father Martin points out the levity found in world religions: Hindus revere a puckish Krishna, Buddhists are reminded of levity by their own laughing Buddha statues, have you ever seen a photo of the Dalai Llama not laughing? Humor can be found in ancient Hebraic writings as well in Sufi devotions. Islam, characterized as dour in our current culture, is full of jokes. Many of the world’s religions are truly full of joy.
As UUs we are descendants of puritans, those famously “frozen chosen,” whom Rev Jonathan Edwards grimly characterized as “sinners in the hands of an angry god.” HL Menkin defined Puritanism as “the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, might be happy.”
My seminary was ecumenical - a mix of religions, but the Dean was an ex-Catholic priest who was still learning about inclusive language. At a worship service, he once said, “Let us pray. And you Unitarians, do whatever it is that you do.”
Can you blame him? What do we do? It can be so hard to describe or explain, even to our own children. They say that a Unitarian is just an atheist with children, and that is often the case. Many of us came to this faith because we wanted to bring our children up in an open, loving church community. And I love seeing the ways that our own children represent us. Kids tell the ultimate truths, don’t they? When my daughter was young, she made a new friend who told her, “We’re Episcopalians, what are you?” My daughter had to really think about it, and then she said, “I’m not sure, but I think we’re League of Women Voters.”
Another great one was the little girl who was sad about her cat who had recently died. An older woman, trying to help, told her, “your kitty cat is with Jesus now.” Disgusted, the Unitarian child asked, “What would Jesus want with a dead cat?”
Recently I took an online quiz that told me that based on my beliefs I’d be best suited to be a Quaker. But I just cannot imagine sitting still through all that silence. Some say that Unitarians are just Quakers with Attention Deficit Disorder. But who are we really? Who do we say that we are?
In my experience, every Unitarian Universalist congregation is delightfully unique, and I am so excited to get to know you. Because now I am one with you. That is, it is not just there is you, and here is me. We are us. Who are we? I will be learning this over the course of months, maybe years. But I can say that we are a people of joy, a people of humor and levity. We are a people that Dr. John Gottman would consider “relationship masters” for our ability to diffuse tension with joy. Our ability to temper solemnity with silliness.
I’m going to end with one of my favorites: A Jewish Rabbi, a Catholic priest, and a UU minister were discussing how they divide the collection plate between church use and God. The Rabbi said that he draws a circle in the middle of the room, stands in the middle of it, and throws the money up into the air. Whatever falls outside the circle goes to the Lord, and what falls inside goes to the church. The priest said that he does something similar. However, he draws a line. When he throws up the money whatever falls in front of him is for the church, whatever is behind him goes to God. The UU minister said that she also used a similar method for dividing up the collection plate. She throws up the money and she figures whatever God wants, God will grab.
Preached 8/4/2019 at SouthWest UU in N. Royalton OH
By Rev. Meg Mathieson
Laughter is an incredibly beautiful thing. Folks say that laughter is the best medicine, and science backs this up. Studies have shown that laughter increases social bonding, reduces stress, and gives a boost to your immune system. Laughter has been shown in study after study to measurably reduce our perception of pain. Recent research at the University of Maryland has shown that laughter has an anti-inflammatory effect that protects blood vessels and heart muscles from the damaging effects of cardiovascular disease.
Consider the story of Norman Cousins, a newspaper editor who in the 1970s, faced a debilitatingly painful disease which he eventually cured through laughter. In the 1979 book and the 1984 movie Anatomy of an Illness, Mr. Cousins discovers, in the midst of desperation around his chronic pain, a surprising cure: deep belly laughs. Mr. Cousins found, with the aid of the Marx Brothers and Candid Camera, that 10 minutes of laughter would bring hours of pain relief, helping him to get much-needed sleep.
Mr. Cousins is said to have quipped, “Hearty laughter is a good way to jog internally without having to go outdoors.” This is valuable advice if you live in a state where the out-of-doors is unfriendly some months out of the year! In lieu of exercising, just watch a Steve Martin or Diane Keaton movie!
Laughter heals not only the individual but also whole communities. When we laugh and share levity together, we bond. Consider the work of Dr. John Gottman, who famously studied and named 4 predictors of divorce, which he called the “4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse.” Dr. Gottman has been able to predict with astounding accuracy the success and failure rates of marriages. And what does Dr. Gottman prescribe for healthy relationships? He has said, “Our marriages are only as good as our histories of laughter together.” Dr. Gottman goes on to explain that couples who can diffuse tension with laughter are those that he labels “masters” of marriage.
But this extends beyond couples. Bringing humor into any tense situation is sure to diffuse the stress, even if the joke isn’t funny. One such example offered on Dr. Gottman’s website: What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?
Now imagine saying that randomly in the middle of an argument with a co-worker, a friend, or a family member. You might not get a big laugh, but I guarantee that the tension will break.
I recently read the most joyful little paperback, titled “Between Heaven and Mirth,” by Father James Martin, a Jesuit priest. Some of us cringe at memories of Catholic upbringings, but Father Martin’s work is warm, inviting, and I find that every time I come across the word “God” I just mentally replace that word with “The Source” or “Energy,” or "Love," suddenly Father Martin and I have a lot of beliefs in common.
In the introduction to his book, Father Martin recalls the story of a fellow priest who, in confession, confessed “excessive levity,” and was scolded by his superior that “all levity is excessive.” From there, Father Martin goes on to outline the history of humor in religion, including the history of erasing humor from religion.
He points to heroes of humor from Catholicism such as St Theresa of Avila who prayed, “From somber devotions and sour-faced saints, good Lord deliver us,” and St Lawrence who was burned to death over a bed of hot coals and as the story goes, jeered at his tormentors saying, “I’m done on this side, flip me over!”
Father Martin reaches outside of Catholicism, offering inter-denominational jokes, such as this one that he promises can be enjoyed by everyone: There is a story about people from different religious denominations who are traveling on a bus to an ecumenical conference for Christian Unity Week. While singing songs together, they become so distracted that they run off the road and hit a telephone pole, die, and go to heaven. The crowd meets St. Peter, who welcomes all of them. "Okay," he says. First the Episcopalians. Welcome to heaven. Since you've all lead good Christian lives and enriched us so much liturgically, go into Room Five, but on the way make sure not to look inside Room One. "The Episcopalians walk happily over to Room Five. Then he says to the Baptists, "Welcome Baptists. Thanks for all the great preaching and witnessing you've done during your lives. Why don't you take Room Two, but make sure not to peek into Room One. " Then he turns to another group and says, “Methodists, nice to see you! Thanks for leading such good Christians lives and for all those hymns. Why don't you all go into Room Three? But make sure not to go into Room One. " Finally, one of the Methodists says to St. Peter, "Can I ask you something? What's in Room One? " St. Peter says, "Oh, that's where the Catholics are. They think they're the only ones up here. "
And where are we in that scenario? What place do UUs have in the world of humor? When looking into UU humor, I was surprised to find out that Matt Groening, the creator of The Simpsons, is a Unitarian Universalist. While not my absolute favorite show, I’ve grown up with The Simpsons. It debuted when I was 11 years old and is still running. Still, I don’t think I’d seen this scene before.
Picture it: the kids are at an ice cream social that is being held at the local church. The minister offers them a choice: Oooh, look at all the choices! Blessed Virgin Berry, Command-mint, Bible Gum … or, if you prefer, we have a new Unitarian flavor. The minister hands the kids an empty bowl. When they complain that “there’s nothing there,” and the minister answers, “Eeeeeeexactly.”
Unitarian Universalists have a rich history of laughing at ourselves. We acknowledge the humor that is naturally present in all of life, and even our historical figures found levity in self-deprecation. Thomas Starr King, both a Unitarian and a Universalist minister back in a time before the two denominations had merged, explained each religion by stating that, “Universalists think God is too good to send them to hell. Unitarians think they are too good for God to send them to hell. “
And he was right! The legacy of Unitarian Universalism is of a branch of Christianity that over time slowly rejected hell, rejected the notion of a punitive God, and eventually rejected any need for salvation. This opened the door to letting go of a need for Jesus and led to an opportunity to explore and embrace a wealth of world religions. When folks accuse us of not believing in anything, we can be sure that we also embrace belief in everything. Everything that is good, positive, and sacred is invited to our party.
And that’s the thing: when you replace the word “God” with ever-widening descriptors such as “Mystery,” “Source” and “Energy” it becomes easy to see that the source of all, must also be the source of humor and levity. That when we engage in silliness and when we laugh, we are engaging directly and intimately with our mysterious source energy.
Speaking of energy… do you happen to know how many Unitarians it takes to change a lightbulb? We choose not to make a statement either in favor for or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey, you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is wonderful. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb. Present it next month at our annual Light Bulb Sunday Service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life, and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
We laugh at our own agnosticism and recognize the way that our open-mindedness can look like indecisiveness in a culture that is full of more fundamentalist, creedal denominations. Others might think we are going to hell, but this becomes a punchline for those of us who don’t believe in hell: A street corner evangelist rhetorically asked a passer-by, "Friend -- do you know what path leads to the denial of God and Christ straight into the arms of heathenism and atheism?" "Oh, sure," said the passer-by. "The Unitarian Universalist Church is just two blocks that way."
But of course, we know that it’s not all heathenism and atheism. In “Between Heaven and Mirth,” Father Martin points out the levity found in world religions: Hindus revere a puckish Krishna, Buddhists are reminded of levity by their own laughing Buddha statues, have you ever seen a photo of the Dalai Llama not laughing? Humor can be found in ancient Hebraic writings as well in Sufi devotions. Islam, characterized as dour in our current culture, is full of jokes. Many of the world’s religions are truly full of joy.
As UUs we are descendants of puritans, those famously “frozen chosen,” whom Rev Jonathan Edwards grimly characterized as “sinners in the hands of an angry god.” HL Menkin defined Puritanism as “the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, might be happy.”
My seminary was ecumenical - a mix of religions, but the Dean was an ex-Catholic priest who was still learning about inclusive language. At a worship service, he once said, “Let us pray. And you Unitarians, do whatever it is that you do.”
Can you blame him? What do we do? It can be so hard to describe or explain, even to our own children. They say that a Unitarian is just an atheist with children, and that is often the case. Many of us came to this faith because we wanted to bring our children up in an open, loving church community. And I love seeing the ways that our own children represent us. Kids tell the ultimate truths, don’t they? When my daughter was young, she made a new friend who told her, “We’re Episcopalians, what are you?” My daughter had to really think about it, and then she said, “I’m not sure, but I think we’re League of Women Voters.”
Another great one was the little girl who was sad about her cat who had recently died. An older woman, trying to help, told her, “your kitty cat is with Jesus now.” Disgusted, the Unitarian child asked, “What would Jesus want with a dead cat?”
Recently I took an online quiz that told me that based on my beliefs I’d be best suited to be a Quaker. But I just cannot imagine sitting still through all that silence. Some say that Unitarians are just Quakers with Attention Deficit Disorder. But who are we really? Who do we say that we are?
In my experience, every Unitarian Universalist congregation is delightfully unique, and I am so excited to get to know you. Because now I am one with you. That is, it is not just there is you, and here is me. We are us. Who are we? I will be learning this over the course of months, maybe years. But I can say that we are a people of joy, a people of humor and levity. We are a people that Dr. John Gottman would consider “relationship masters” for our ability to diffuse tension with joy. Our ability to temper solemnity with silliness.
I’m going to end with one of my favorites: A Jewish Rabbi, a Catholic priest, and a UU minister were discussing how they divide the collection plate between church use and God. The Rabbi said that he draws a circle in the middle of the room, stands in the middle of it, and throws the money up into the air. Whatever falls outside the circle goes to the Lord, and what falls inside goes to the church. The priest said that he does something similar. However, he draws a line. When he throws up the money whatever falls in front of him is for the church, whatever is behind him goes to God. The UU minister said that she also used a similar method for dividing up the collection plate. She throws up the money and she figures whatever God wants, God will grab.